Is Using Reward To Promote Good Behavior Good or Not?
- martina ononiwu
- Jun 8, 2016
- 3 min read
Today I was thinking of the drama my daughter and I acted in the house yesterday. Although it made me laugh so much but, I am beginning to think about the whole idea of using reward or the sticker chart to promote good behavior.
I had a busy day yesterday, I was super tired and on coming back home, I met my house in a mess. Drawings and crayons every where, tissue papers littered in the toilet(I am certain it was the handy work of my 3 year Old),food crumbs on the table , infact my house needed a massive clean-up. As usual, I began to negotiate with my daughter to help me tidy the house(my 6 year old loves to do house chores , I tell you she can clean for Africa just like me). Anyway, I told her I will reward her and she immediately dismissed it, saying the reward (which by the way is a colour chart I downloaded online)wasn't good enough- she said that I had to pay her 10 euros, I also have to buy a laptop for her before she would help me clean the house. The shocking thing is that she stood her grounds and gave me reasons why she wasn't obliged to help me clean the house at 7.30pm.
I couldn't believe that she could stick to her words, well I don't blame her, it made me only wonder how kids born in this era grow so fast. In my days especially growing up in Africa, it was almost like a taboo to disobey your parents, let alone try to negotiate whether you wanted to do house chores or not-If you didn't feel like it, you got some spanking, wooping and some jackie chan slaps to enable you feel like doing all chores at the same time. Lol
As a parent, I use reward chart to motivate my kids to complete their homework or meet behavioral expectations by displaying the tasks they need to complete in a given day, and checking off days when all the tasks are completed. Every day it's checked off, I give my kids a reward for their hard work! I believe that using sticker chart and any sort of reward system to promote good behavior is fine, so long as it's not attached to a required task. You don't get rewarded for doing what you are supposed to do.
The sticker chart which is also known as the love and logic approach is great when it works but as I now realize, it doesn't work for all kids. For preschoolers it is a fun way to get them to do things and after a while, it is important to alternate this approach with other approaches.
I say this because, the average kid needs to have priorities set for them(of course you have to get them involved in the process)with reasonable outcomes for actions. I believe that required tasks occurs before desired activities.Period!! For example I could ask my daughter, Did you do your homework? if she says ''Not Yet Mummy'' I would say immediately '' better get on it right now or there is time for your tv show, or for your baking. In addition, parents and educators can also reinforce a sticker chart or reward system if you're dealing with a delayed or behavioral disordered kid who needs to learn how to follow a schedule or regulate themselves during a routine or required task.
For my kids, I noticed that what works is respect and self respect, realizing the added freedom and independence that follows good behavior.
Honestly, I see a lot of experts talking and writing about what parenting strategies are *BEST* but to be realistic, I know every kid is different so if you are parent or educator sometimes it's best you do whatever gets the job done.
In conclusion, I believe using rewards to promote good behavior is a good thing but I suggest you don't over stick with this approach. You can use it for a while and once you notice it's not working any more, you can try an alternative method.
I want to know, do you use rewards to promote good behavior ? Did it ever stop working? What other alternative approach do you use? Share your thoughts below:
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